Building Emotional Regulation Skills in Young Children
Emotional regulation is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions in a healthy way. In early childhood, this skill is still developing and requires patience, guidance, and consistent support from both caregivers and families.
Learning how to manage big feelings is a key part of Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) and lays the foundation for positive behavior, relationships, and learning.
What Is Emotional Regulation?
Emotional regulation means helping children learn how to:
Identify their feelings
Express emotions safely
Calm their bodies when they feel overwhelmed
Respond to challenges in appropriate ways
Young children are not born with these skills—they develop them over time through nurturing relationships and repeated practice.
Why Emotional Regulation Is Challenging for Young Children
Strong emotions can feel overwhelming because children’s brains are still developing. When feelings become too big, children may:
Cry
Yell
Withdraw
Act impulsively
This is a normal part of development.
Common Reasons Children Struggle With Emotional Regulation
Limited Language Skills
Young children often feel emotions before they have the words to describe them. When they can’t explain how they feel, emotions may come out through behavior.Brain Development
The parts of the brain responsible for self-control and problem-solving are still growing. Children need adult support to guide them through emotional moments.Overstimulation or Fatigue
Busy environments, transitions, hunger, or lack of rest can make it harder for children to manage emotions.Big Changes or New Experiences
Separation from caregivers, new routines, or social challenges can increase emotional stress.
How Child Care Programs Support Emotional Regulation
High-quality child care programs use developmentally appropriate strategies to help children build emotional regulation skills in a safe and supportive environment.
Calm and Responsive Guidance
Caregivers respond with patience and understanding by:
Staying calm during emotional moments
Acknowledging children’s feelings
Using gentle, reassuring language
This helps children feel safe and supported.
Teaching Emotional Awareness
Caregivers help children learn to recognize emotions by:
Naming feelings (“You look frustrated.”)
Reading books about emotions
Using visual emotion charts
Modeling healthy emotional responses
Helping Children Practice Self-Calming Skills
Children are guided to use age-appropriate calming strategies, such as:
Deep breathing
Taking a quiet break
Using sensory tools
Asking for help
These skills are practiced regularly, not just during emotional moments.
Creating Predictable Routines
Consistent schedules and clear expectations help children feel secure, reducing emotional stress and frustration.
How Parents Can Support Emotional Regulation at Home
Families play a vital role in strengthening emotional regulation skills. Parents can support learning at home by:
Talking about emotions throughout the day
Modeling calm responses to stress
Encouraging children to use words instead of actions
Offering comfort during emotional moments
Keeping routines consistent
Praising efforts to manage feelings
When children see adults managing emotions calmly, they learn by example.
Is Difficulty With Emotional Regulation Normal?
Yes. Emotional regulation develops gradually throughout early childhood. Occasional meltdowns, frustration, or emotional outbursts are expected as children learn how to manage their feelings.
Over time, children build:
Stronger self-control
Better communication skills
Increased emotional awareness
Healthier coping strategies
With consistent support from caregivers and families, emotional regulation skills continue to grow.
Need More Information?
For more information on how Golden City CDC, Inc., a licensed Child Care Center, supports children and families, please visit:
https://www.goldencitycdc.com/